


Distance

by jeodoboleo



Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 20:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4848812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeodoboleo/pseuds/jeodoboleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though Taekwoon asks himself: What am I here for?<br/>He always comes back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distance

 

_Oh I asked myself, what am I doin' here?_

Taekwoon saw, more than heard, Hongbin walk in front of him; too absorbed in his thoughts that were far too foggy to make sense of, a headache pounding through the right side of his head and into his temples. He didn’t bother looking up from his lap as he perched on the side of their bed when small feet came into view, partly covered in sweatpants far too large so it bunches at the ankles. 

Water drips into the hardwood with a muted sound beside those feet, a stray droplet onto one of the hands curled much too tightly in his lap, and Taekwoon can imagine the floor covered in a trail of wet footprints leading to the bed, the younger not caring despite his need to keep their apartment meticulously clean.

A book thrown carelessly on the coffee table, a mug not washed and set back in it’s place in the cupboards, and Hongbin almost throws a fit every time, says he can’t do anything knowing there’s a mess, but he never fails in leaving small puddles on the floor after his shower, preferring to towel dry his hair until it lays in damp curls across his forehead. Don’t worry about the water, he had said; when Taekwoon had nearly slipped once, it’ll dry. 

Taekwoon wishes he hadn’t changed his mind, wishes he had taken the cigarettes out of the jean’s pocket he wore yesterday, thrown carelessly into closest because _Hongbin was finally here_ , and gone out onto the balcony for a smoke. It would have bought him some time to himself, maybe even discouraged the younger to come out into the cold after his shower, because he just couldn’t face him right now. 

Small fingers scrape against his neck and Taekwoon looks up, into Hongbin’s eyes, through him, out the window and far away to the places he once was. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and Taekwoon, being away from the younger for weeks, even months at a time, thought so too; but as he gently holds Hongbin’s forearms in his hands, the feeling foreign; he couldn’t be more wrong.

He trails his fingertips along the lines of Hongbin’s body, over his bare wet skin and he feels so firm underneath his palms despite looking pink and dewy from his shower; admires the sweep of his lashes and his parted lips that disrupt the hardness to him. It’s natural, when the younger leans down, and him up, to kiss, but Taekwoon feels too distracted. Hongbin tastes plain in his mouth like tap water, and he has to move his lips with effort, like it's a burden. Taekwoon feels cold.

Just hours ago, in the fleeting hours of the morning, Taekwoon had taken the younger to bed and kissed him and kissed him until he was breathless, sucked a mark into his skin and poured himself into the other until they both ached. Taekwoon doesn’t know where that feeling had suddenly went, and it makes his head pound harder at the thought of falling. Out of love. But that couldn’t be it.

And as Taekwoon lies with Hongbin again, for the second night in a row after a long while, he presses him close. Even if the body in his arms feels almost alien, even when his fingers grow cold and numb from never being released from their clenched state, he presses Hongbin close as if he wants to imprint himself onto him. Leave him with the shape of his shoulders and slope of his nose and the lines of his body into his flesh, something that hickeys could never recreate. So maybe that way, when Hongbin wakes again come morning and sees himself, he sees Taekwoon too. Because come morning he’ll be gone again.

And like always he’ll be back again for more.

**Author's Note:**

> * happy birthday travis~♡  
> * you can also find and talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jeodoboleo) and [tumblr](http://www.jeodoboleo.tumblr.com/)!~  
> * comments (and kudos) are appreciated and encourage me to post more! ♡♡♡


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